


Nothing I Can Do About It Now

by donsboy



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: Blind Ambition, M/M, Partner Neglect, Post-Divorce, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsboy/pseuds/donsboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson reflects on the reason he left Don...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing I Can Do About It Now

**Author's Note:**

> * * *

          Somehow I knew today was going to be one of those days. When I woke up this morning things felt a bit off. I let Hugo and Honey out for their morning run and started breakfast. While I was eating, I heard Honey scratch at the door so I let both her and Hugo in and put some kibble in their bowls so I could finish my breakfast in peace.

 

          While I was cleaning up the kitchen Don drifted into my thoughts much like the aroma of a freshly-brewed cup of coffee. The thing was that his memory came on stronger than usual, and when that happens, I’m practically useless. The bald truth is that even though I haven’t seen or spoken to Don Flack in nearly ten years, God help me, I still love him.

 

          I know you’re wondering why I’m not still with him. It’s pretty simple really. He let his ambitions as a detective destroy what we had. All the long hours, the ass-kissing, and everything else chipped away at the foundation of what we were trying to build until the whole damn thing collapsed like a house of cards.

 

          Please don’t misunderstand; I had no problem with Don wanting to advance in his career. He just seemed to forget about me in the process. I was used to him working late, having to go undercover at times, and being called out in the middle of the night to go to crime scenes. All of that was just part of being married to a detective. Our problems started when the rumors of a new supervisory position opening up started swirling around Don’s precinct.

 

          Don decided he wanted to go out for it, so he decided to start being ‘Johnny on the spot’ and the brass started noticing. He started staying away from home more and we started fighting about that. I made the mistake once of complaining a bit too much and was told I could either live with it or leave. It really hurt to think that Don cared so little for us anymore that he would say something like that.

 

          I learned to keep my mouth shut for a while, but it didn’t last. The big blow-up came two days before what was to be our tenth wedding anniversary. Don told me that he wouldn’t be able to spend it with me because he was going to be out of town attending a training seminar. Needless to say I went ballistic. The missed dinners, cancelled plans, the put-offs, and now this. He left for his trip with some of the higher-ups in the precinct and I spent our anniversary alone. I made up my mind then and there that he could do this without me. I went the next day and filed for a divorce.

 

          I didn’t tell him on purpose that I had filed. I suppose that was petty on my part, but I figured that it served him right. He got served at work and that really pissed him off. He came home that evening and raised nine kinds of hell because I embarrassed him. I told him to go fuck himself and continued packing. He knew it was for real when I started hauling suitcases to the living room. 

 

          That got his attention, and for the first time in forever he wanted to talk about our situation. I just looked him in the eye and told him it was too little, too late. He begged me not to go, and even promised that things would change. I told him that things wouldn’t change because his ambition was blinding him and that he wouldn’t be happy until he got what he wanted. I told him that I didn’t begrudge him the promotion, but I wasn’t going to be pushed aside.

 

          I stayed with friends until the divorce became final. I will never forget the last time I saw Don. After we finished in court, I was walking down the step of the courthouse when Don stopped me. It was all I could do to stand there and face him, knowing it was really over. He told me that he hoped I would be happy and to take care of myself. All I could do was stand there and cry.

 

          I hailed a cab to take me to the airport and boarded a plane for Texas. I still had the house and property my mother left me when she died, so I settled in my hometown. Things were really hard for a while since I was trying to get over Don. About four years after I left New York, I got a letter from Danny Messer telling me that Don had remarried. I have to say that the news hurt deeply.

 

          Now I live alone, don’t really date, and take care of Hugo and Honey, the pair of Boxer puppies I bought from my cousin. Like I said at the beginning, I’m fine until his memory comes to mind. I regret not trying to stick it out, but I know I did the right thing in the end. I hate the fact that we couldn’t work it out, but there’s nothing I can do about it now…..

 

THE END

* * *

 


End file.
